difficult people

2 Timothy 2

24 A servant of the Lord must not quarrel

but must be kind to everyone,

be able to teach,

and be patient with difficult people.

...& be patient with difficult people.

...difficult people.

Anybody got any difficult people in your life?

The older I get, & the more of life I see, the more I've come to realize the words of a friend of mine...

I came to Georgia in 1973 to be the music & youth director at Central United Methodist Church in Fitzgerald, GA.

My predecessor in the music end of that job was Annabelle Cheeseman, at the time the choral director at Fitzgerald High School.

She was an incredible powerhouse who had influence & impact on people far beyond just the choral activities at FHS.

One day she & I was talking about difficult people in our lives & she said something I've never forgotten...

“Someone that obnoxious isn't that way on purpose.”

Annabelle could be so hilarious some times, especially if she was talking about people's behavior.

She went on to say...

“No one wakes up one morning & decides to be a jackass.”

Annabelle taught me that people are who they are & act & behave the way they do for a reason.

She showed me so many times that the important fact about people isn't that they act or behave in a certain way.

They always act & behave, & are the people that they are, for a reason.

She taught me to not look at WHAT people do or WHAT they are, & try to look for WHY they do what they do & are what they are.

Usually the why behind who & what they are has nothing to do with the current acts or behaviors.

Now, if you know me at all, you know that I will never be accused of being a pillar of patience.

Difficult people drive me crazy.

WHY they drive me crazy is another conversation.

But Annabelle's thinking on people has helped me at times to step back & try to figure out why this person is being so difficult.

Most of the time, if we trace it back far enough, it usually has something to do with the failure of the important people or the important situations in our lives to be &/or do what we fundamentally need to have been &/or have done.

We just have to keep asking ourselves, or the person, the “why” questions.

I've done it countless times with people.

Most of the time, it doesn't take long to figure it out.

Of course, in many ways, the hard part isn't figuring out the “why” behind a person's behavior.

The hard part is getting them to realize it & then do something about it.

I watched the report last night of the behavior of Martin Shkreli as he testified at the Congressional hearing.

It was some of the most bizarre, obnoxious, disrespectful behavior I've seen in a public forum.

And we've all see a lot of obnoxious behavior.

Even though his behavior really turned me off, I couldn't help but wonder where in the world it came from.

What in the world could have been the root cause of such cynical, rude behavior?

We may never know.

But there HAS to be some reason or reasons for him to be who he is & do what he does.

And don't short circuit the process by simply saying “he's just a jerk”.

There's something that makes him who he is. We may never fully know what that is.

I also started to be concerned for his well being,

...because we all know that someday, somehow, Mr. Shkreli is going to experience the truth of this saying..

“what goes around, comes around”.

And we all know it ain't gonna be pretty.

I don't wish that on anyone.

So, today, as we go thru our day, maybe we can be more patient with difficult people if we don't think so much about what makes them so difficult & focus more on maybe WHY they act or behave that way.

It's probably what people think about when they watch you or I act &/or behavior the way we do.